is your mom at the bar?
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
now i know why i became what i already was.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
