Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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