She's JV to your varsity
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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