Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
