I puked a lego.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
