i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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