i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
