in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize