Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
