It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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