You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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