i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
