Sponge bath it is.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I am naked and annoyed.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
