I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize