It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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