This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
