Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
