Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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