3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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