that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
