Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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