Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
