Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
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my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
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Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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