Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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