Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
