So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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