I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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