everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
