Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
