3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
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bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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