After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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