I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
