the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
