the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
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thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
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you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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