I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
