what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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