if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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