I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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