Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
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so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
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Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey