Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist