So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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