Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here