I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home