How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.