Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
