Define "chronic" masturbator.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
