we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
