i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
