The maid of honor just puked.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
