Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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