if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
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she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize