dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
