I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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