I want to stick my p in your. b.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
