im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
