youre lurking in front of me
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
