As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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