Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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