I am puke
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
