I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
