sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize