Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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