I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I could fuck to npr.
Randomize
