its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The convent might be a nice break from real life
All I want is dick and wine.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
