NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
