do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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